"The operation was a success, but the patient died"

Most magical moments happen when I manage to completely empty my mind of thought-noise. That allows me to reach this place of "higher intelligence". Brilliant things happen in that state, such that when I get out of it, it seems as I could never replicate that work.

I'm playing with mixing media right now. Most difficult part is when I reach a stage that I really like in the painting, and I am afraid that if I continue I will mess it up, while knowing that moving forward is not only necessary but required. I get stuck midway. Solution: I got to learn to accept failure. Today I destroyed a beautiful drawing out of exercising pushing myself to let go of the midway perfection and continue experimenting. I had a breakthrough in letting go and a failure in outcome. Just like in that joke: "the operation was a success, but the patient died". The drawing went to trash and I suffered for losing it. But without pushing the limits there is no progress. So my biggest challenge is to be ok with failing, not to get discouraged, and start over yet again.

My studio work wish list:

• un-atachment from the outcome
• fearless experimentation
• indulgence in idea pursuit
• acceptance of failure
• uninhibited work ethic

This below is a mixed media little sketch I played with in the past that I consider successful. My intention was to keep it simple and fresh while expressing a lot of endearing emotions. 

and here's shot from my studio space with my current stuck-in-the-middle artwork